Alone in the Dark – 1982, US, 92m. Director: Jack Sholder.
Death Spa – 1988, US, 88m. Director: Michael Fischa.
The Meateater – 1979, US, 84m. Director: David Burton Morris.
ALONE IN THE DARK (1982) A quartet of violent patients escapes from a psychiatric hospital during a blackout. After one of them—a 300-pound child molester—breaks an orderly in half, the gang steals clothes and guns, then heads to the home of their doctor (Dwight Schultz) to terrorize him and his family. One of the maniacs hides under a bed and gives a couple of teens a surprise during afternoon delight. A cop is pinned to a tree with a crossbow bolt in a special effects scene that’s executed very effectively. Donald Pleasance plays a flaky psychiatrist who tries to help talk sense into the escapees, but his New Age methods don’t sit well with arsonist Martin Landau. Schultz and family are forced to pick up knives and other weapons and do a little bloodletting of their own, culminating in an intense showdown which rounds out a nice little shocker featuring smart characters and good writing. The film’s director, Jack Sholder, would go on to make A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and cult classic, The Hidden (1987). B
DEATH SPA (1988) A high-tech L.A. fitness center becomes a death house when its computer mainframe is taken over by the malevolent ghost of its deceased owner (Shari Shattuck). Shattuck uses the place’s computer system to indiscriminately kill customers via toxic gas, equipment malfunction, and other means made to look like accidents. Shattuck’s egghead brother (Merritt Butrick), creator of the advanced computer system, assists in the revenge plot and is eventually possessed by big sis during the film’s convoluted third act, which also involves corporate espionage, double crossing, a blood-drenched blender attack, a man’s throat being ripped open by a reanimated frozen barracuda, multiple exploding heads, and a costume party that goes up in flames in a climax that pulls from the prom scene in Carrie. The movie also borrows from A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Incredible Melting Man,The Exorcist, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. You could call Death Spa an equal opportunity ripoff. Marginally enjoyable rubbish. C+
THE MEATEATER (1979) A demented geezer (Arch Joboulian) dwells in an abandoned movie theater where he watches old Jean Harlow movies and feasts on live rodents. Fresh meat arrives in the form of a family man (Peter Spitzer) who purchases and reopens the theater for short-lived business before Joboulian electrocutes the projectionist during the grand opening. The discovery of the original owner’s decomposing body temporarily shuts the place down, but not long enough to save Spitzer’s Harlow-esque teen daughter (Emily Spindler), who Joboulian abducts away to his hidden room. Despite its confusing title, The Meateater will most likely make viewers squirm with boredom due to a prominent lack of blood, or any kind of excitement. A real snoozer, recommended only for fans of cheap and obscure seventies genre flicks. D–