{"id":9213,"date":"2022-10-24T12:29:19","date_gmt":"2022-10-24T12:29:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mattshorroraddiction.com\/?p=9213"},"modified":"2022-10-24T12:29:19","modified_gmt":"2022-10-24T12:29:19","slug":"halloween-ends-badly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/?p=9213","title":{"rendered":"Halloween Ends (Badly)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

By Frank Pittarese <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s what happens: Completely disregarding her emotional and mental state of the previous films \u2014 and despite the brutal murder of her daughter \u2014  Laurie Strode is living a happy, pie-making suburban life in Haddonfield, with her Awful Granddaughter, Allyson. Meanwhile, troubled misfit Corey Cunningham encounters Michael Myers, and after some true nonsense happens, is lead down a dark (and muddled) path as Michael\u2019s\u2026apprentice? Amidst CW-style romance, shoddy internal continuity, and happenings that make Riverdale<\/em> seem plausible, the filmmakers remember that Michael Myers is why we\u2019re here, and quickly shoehorn him into a proactive role in the final act for a showdown with Laurie. Nothing makes sense. The end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This long review will be FULL OF SPOILERS; there\u2019s no way around it. Scroll on, if you like. Or, for your spoiler-free pleasure: Grade D-<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have conflicted feelings about Halloween<\/em> (2018) and Halloween Kills<\/em>, but taken on their own merits \u2014 which itself takes an effort \u2014 they\u2019re decent, fine-for-a-thrill movies. Halloween Ends<\/em>, taken on its<\/em> own merits, is a disaster. Undoing whatever good will they\u2019ve established in the previous two movies, director David Gordon Green and his too-large-to-function writing team have spun a story that plays out like a cinematic head injury. Things don\u2019t track from the previous films, which is bad enough, but the body of this movie itself is, largely, incoherent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The previous two entries in this cycle firmly established certain things:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Laurie, irreparably traumatized, was obsessed with the idea of Michael Myers, to the point of living in a homemade, booby-trapped, armed fortress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-The town of Haddonfield was still mourning the deaths of four (FOUR) people, some forty years prior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Michael\u2019s return to Haddonfield was the fault of his evil doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-The more Michael kills, the stronger he gets. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Michael killed people with a personal connection to Laurie: Chief Brackett, Tommy Doyle, her son-in-law, Ray, and, ultimately, Laurie\u2019s own daughter, Karen. Michael also slaughtered at least thirty people in 2018, including an entire fire brigade and a massive number of average citizens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those aren\u2019t things I\u2019ve fan-wanked. Those are things the creators TOLD us and SHOWED us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what does Halloween Ends do? It\u2019s says \u201cFuck that. Fuck ALL<\/em> of that!\u201d In this one\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Laurie, despite the death of her own daughter and friends, is happily living a trauma-free life, literally carving out Halloween pumpkins to celebrate the holiday. HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS. On the anniversary of her loved one\u2019s murders. For 40 years, Michael sat in prison and this woman built herself a high-security, weaponized hideout. Now, she knows<\/em> he\u2019s on the loose and she\u2019s baking pies. This is not a fake-out. There\u2019s no secret armory in the basement. Her daughter died, Mike\u2019s in the wind, and after some lip service about \u201ctherapy,\u201d Laurie has, in this reboot series, been rebooted, herself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Haddonfield mourned Michael\u2019s handful of victims from 1978, but the thirty from 2018? Firefighters<\/em> torn to shreds? Eh, it\u2019s been four years. Never mind them. Life is back to normal. Let\u2019s dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Laurie, for some reason, is blamed by the general public and<\/em> by her own Awful Granddaughter for Michael\u2019s 2018 return, DESPITE EVERYONE KNOWING IT WAS HIS EVIL DOCTOR<\/em> \u2014 including Awful Granddaughter, whom said evil doctor trapped with Michael in the back of a police car. But sure\u2026blame Laurie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Michael, despite slaying an entire mob of people with superhuman strength at the end of Halloween Kills<\/em>, is now weak and feeble. Homeboy is living Pennywise-style in the Haddonfield sewers. But they TOLD us in the previous movie that killing makes him stronger. That\u2019s what we SAW. He should be fine. He should be ROBUST. But the creators are stupid and\/or lazy. They need Michael weak to boost Corey Cunningham\u2019s storyline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oy\u2026Corey Cunningham\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Corey is a poor soul who, in a 2019 cold-open, accidentally killed the obnoxious kid he was babysitting. Corey encounters Michael Myers in his sewer hideaway (long story), and when Michael tries to strangle Corey, Myers apparently sees into Corey\u2019s mind, witnesses his memories, and lets him go! But Corey is changed. Corey is now (psychically?<\/em>) \u201cinfected\u201d by evil. Seemingly now-channeling Michael, he wanders through town in a scarecrow mask, killing bullies and\/or anyone else he encounters. At one point, he even brings Michael a victim, like Slasher Seamless. Later, Corey beats up Michael(!) and steals HIS mask(!!) before running off to kill Laurie(!!!). This is enough for Michael to remember that he\u2019s in this story, and he just shows up out of nowhere to fight Laurie himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(BTW, Corey is dating Laurie\u2019s Awful Granddaughter, who is one of the worst characters in the entire franchise. I\u2019d sit through yet another sequel if it meant seeing her get eaten by alligators.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s just\u2026it\u2019s a vomit of randomness. It plods on for two hours with no focus at all; or rather, a misplaced focus. There\u2019s no atmosphere or tension. There\u2019s no POINT except for some psychobabble about evil-as-contagion. It\u2019s like when you get hired for a job and say, \u201cYeah, I know Excel.\u201d But you don\u2019t know Excel, so you fake it till you can learn it. That\u2019s what the writing on this movie is like. They fake it, but they never learn it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This could and should have been a straightforward Laurie vs. Michael story. After what happened, it\u2019s only natural that Laurie would want revenge. (The Extended Cut of Halloween Kills<\/em> literally ends with Laurie storming out of the hospital and saying, \u201cI\u2019m coming, Michael,\u201d but I guess she ran out of gas). Plus, Lindsey Wallace, played by a returning Kyle Richards, is RIGHT THERE, with a personal investment, but she has maybe ten lines, total. Imagine Laurie and Lindsey, two strong women, legit survivors of \u201cThe Night HE Came Home,\u201d hunting down the guy that so horrifically impacted their lives\u2026 That\u2019s all the story we want. That\u2019s all the story we NEED.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But nope. We\u2019ve got Brady Bunch Laurie, a Mini-Me Michael, some hullaballoo about \u201cevil infections\u201d in a film that feels like it was directed by eight people and written round-robin-style on a drunken road trip. \u201cYou write a scene, and YOU write a scene, and YOU<\/em> write a scene!!\u201d They were so busy circle-jerking that Michael actually only kills three people himself in the whole, two-hour movie. Three. And there’s STILL no sign of Ben Tramer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The positives are sparse. The cold open makes a fun, gruesome short story. Rohan Campbell\u2019s Corey is very endearing and likable (before they ruin him with that dumb mind-link). The fact that it\u2019s so astonishingly messy almost<\/em> makes it watchable. My investment in the Halloween franchise is low (Friday the 13th<\/em> is my jam), and at least this was better than the terrible Halloween: Resurrection<\/em>, and there are a few decently gory kills. And the \u201cends\u201d part of Halloween Ends<\/em> is accurate. It does feel like it\u2019s legitimately over. Oh, they\u2019ll make five more in my lifetime, no doubt, but unless there\u2019s another retcon, we DO get closure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for actual closure, in a well-told, logical story, watch H20<\/em>. It outshines Ends<\/em> by miles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Final thoughts: This movie is the end of a 40-year-old narrative, the conclusion to Laurie’s traumatic struggle which David Gordon Green repeatedly underscored in his own first two films. He had a creative obligation to the fans here. It’s not some five-year-old trilogy that he created (in that case, go ahead, dude, do as you please). Tell the story, finish the story, but don’t abandon the story \u2014 which is exactly what he did. Narratives have structure. Objectively, editorially, he failed. As a conclusion to a trilogy, as a wrap-up to events HE put forth, he failed. No matter how enjoyable some people are finding this film (and hooray to those who like it; I’m happy for you), Green just plain dropped the ball by being self-indulgent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grade (and thanks for reading if you got this far): D<\/strong>–<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s so, sooooo<\/em> dancing on the edge of an F<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frank Pittarese is a long-time comic book editor and Brooklyn native. You can follow him on Instagram<\/a> and Twitter<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Frank Pittarese Here’s what happens: Completely disregarding her emotional and mental state of the previous films \u2014 and despite the brutal murder of her daughter \u2014  Laurie Strode is living a happy, pie-making suburban life in Haddonfield, with her Awful Granddaughter, Allyson. Meanwhile, troubled misfit Corey Cunningham encounters Michael Myers, and after some true […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,7,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halloween-movies","category-new-releases","category-reviews"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9213\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}