{"id":7167,"date":"2022-06-24T20:09:16","date_gmt":"2022-06-24T20:09:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mattshorroraddiction.com\/?p=7167"},"modified":"2022-06-24T20:09:16","modified_gmt":"2022-06-24T20:09:16","slug":"return-to-camp-blood-part-iv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/?p=7167","title":{"rendered":"Return to Camp Blood: Part IV"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Frank Pittarese <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The One with Telekinetic Tina<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They killed Jason. They brought him back as a murder-zombie. Friday the 13th fans have seen it all, right? NOPE! This time, the high concept is \u201cJason vs. Carrie.\u201d In an endless quest to keep the series fresh, this movie introduces a new nemesis for Jason \u2014 the telekinetic teen Tina Shepard. Where\u2019s Tommy? Who knows. Let the makers of fan-films deal with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Starting at the site of what was once Camp Forest Green, we\u2019re thrust into the life of young Tina. She lives in a nice home where the camp once stood, with her mom and drunken\/abusive father. After a household ruckus, Tina flees from the house and jumps into a small boat, pursued by her apologetic dad. But Little Tina is pissed<\/em>, so she telekinetically destroys the pier \u2014 and kills her dad \u2014 with a death stare. And so it begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It’s not polite to stare…and kill your dad.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Several years later, Tina and Mom return to the lake house, along with Tina\u2019s shady shrink, Dr.  Crews. Crews, aware of Tina\u2019s psychic abilities, is secretly manipulating the now-teenage girl for his own greedy pursuits. The slimy doctor torments Tina into having one of her many freak-outs, causing her to run to the lake and wish for her dad\u2019s return. But, oops! Instead of summoning Daddy Shepard, she psychically frees Jason from his underwater chains, where Tommy Jarvis left him years ago. Coincidentally? A bunch of teens have moved into the house across the road for a birthday celebration. I wonder what will happen next…?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sleazy Crews, being sleazy.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Jason makes mincemeat of the teens is what happens next. Meanwhile, Tina has a continuous series of fits about one thing or another. Sometimes it\u2019s predictive visions of death and\/or Jason. Sometimes she\u2019s just in a mood. Tina is a lot. Tina is EXTRA. But amidst her fits, she finds a potential boyfriend with a handsome boy from across the road, Nick (soap actor Kevin Spirtas), who actually has the patience for her shenanigans. Bless his heart. Together, they\u2019re the last ones standing as Tina has an epic showdown with the hulking, zombified Jason, her telekinesis turned up full-blast against Jason in his relentless pursuit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Serial killer or decorative chandelier?<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

In the end, it isn\u2019t Tina who defeats our favorite killer. Nope, nope. Tina somehow resurrects her dead father<\/em> from Crystal Lake (who looks great, except for some smudges on his face). In a flash, Dead Dad re-chains Jason, dragging him into the depths yet again. All\u2019s well that ends\u2026in confusion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While this isn\u2019t the best executed entry, I do like what they were attempting here. We\u2019re seven films deep and an actual effort is being made to keep things fresh. With Jason having been supernaturally returned to life, this \u201cpsychic powers\u201d element feels like a natural progression. We\u2019re no longer in the real world of Alice and Ginny. We\u2019re in the land of the paranormal, and it works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from the kills, which are expected, of course, a couple of familiar notes are struck. Like Tommy before her, Tina just got out of a mental institution, guilty over killing her dad with her psychokinetic abilities. And similar to The<\/em> Final Chapter<\/em>, the house across the road is full of attractive young adults waiting to be slaughtered. Yet things still feel somewhat fresh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Tina is having a mood.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, Tina (as played by Lar Park Lincoln) is a whiny, frumpy buzzkill of a lead character. It\u2019s really hard to like this girl with all her gloomy crying. Still, Tina\u2019s prolonged battle with Jason is a lot of fun (even if you do end up rooting for him a little bit). No one has ever been a physical challenge to Jason, so it\u2019s nice to see him struggle for a change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the victims are bland and forgettable, with the exception of diva-bitch Melissa (Susan Jennifer Sullivan), who makes a fun impression with her catty, soap opera presence, and Eddie (Jeff Bennett), a sweet-but-awkward nerd. Thanks to the MPAA\u2019s prissy interference, the majority of the kills are edited down to unimpressive slashings and stabbings. The remaining ones (like the infamous \u201csleeping bag\u201d murder) only hint at what was originally shot. Did they think people were seeing these things for Oscar-level performances and insight into the human condition? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The worst hiding place, the best kill.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The WTF ending doesn\u2019t do this movie any favors, when Tina apparently resurrects her dead father to drag Jason into the lake. It can\u2019t<\/em> be her dad\u2019s actual corpse – the coroner would have taken him away years ago. He\u2019s not even rotten. I think what we\u2019re seeing is a visual representation of Tina\u2019s mental baggage, as channeled through her powers. She\u2019s likely tapping into Crystal Lake\u2019s supernatural forces, creating a vision of her own, like the many we\u2019ve seen before. Regardless, it\u2019s dopey, and it feels sloppy and rushed. I don\u2019t think anyone thought it through (until me, because I obsess about these damn movies). As for Jason, I reckon Tommy Jarvis didn\u2019t tell the authorities about his body being chained in Crystal Lake for fear he\u2019d be set free, so Jason\u2019s emergence from that particular spot somewhat tracks. Nobody ever looked<\/em> for him, so he was never found.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the first appearance of Kane Hodder as Jason. He\u2019s hulking, intimidating, and powerful \u2014 the best of the bunch \u2014 and luckily, he sticks around for awhile. For some, myself included, Hodder is THE Jason, as much as Robert Englund is Freddy Krueger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Buzz-kill<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The New Blood <\/em>has two healthy time-jumps. We left off in the vicinity of 1989, with Jason in chains at the bottom of the lake, just a few yards from Camp Forest Green. Tina is quite young when we first see her. Let\u2019s say she\u2019s 10. It\u2019s hard to know when those homes went up, but if we split the difference and say it\u2019s been five years since Tommy fought Jason, we\u2019re starting off here with a 1994 flashback to Little Tina\u2019s telekinetic tantrum. Assuming teenage Tina is about 16, the bulk of this film takes place in the year 2000! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, and Crystal Lake? It\u2019s back! No more of this \u201cForest Green\u201d malarky. It\u2019s never explained, but my take is that the murders have turned Crystal Lake into a tourist attraction. People want to visit the creepy Camp Blood and buy t-shirts and Jason masks. When they changed it to Forest Green, the tourists stopped coming and Wessex County lost money \u2014 so they changed the name again<\/em> and Crystal Lake was reborn. Locals gotta make a buck…even if it\u2019s tainted by five dozen dead teens. Want confirmation of this theory? Check out my Jason Takes Manhattan<\/em> review. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The music by Fred Mollin is considerably less thrilling than what came before. He did the music for Friday the 13th: The Series<\/em>, and that\u2019s how this score sounds: dialed down and small, like it\u2019s for TV. It bugs me. He\u2019s back for the next movie, because that one doesn\u2019t have enough problems already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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He’s ready for his close-up!<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Favorite moment: Tina telekinetically destroys Jason\u2019s hockey mask to reveal his nasty, rotten zombie face!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Worst One<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part V<\/em> had problems, but this<\/em> one is a heaping pile of flaming poop. It\u2019s the worst of the series, with a cheap, direct-to-video vibe and I have nothing but bad things to say about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re at the site of Jason\u2019s \u201cdrowning by ghost\u201d at the end of the last movie. Lo and behold, there\u2019s been another<\/em> time jump. The area has been completely overhauled with new buildings and signage, all very lovely. How much time would such an overhaul take? Five years? Let\u2019s go with that. Welcome to 2005, kids! (This movie was released in 1989.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jason is still legendary. In fact, when he\u2019s accidentally freed from his underwater trap, the first thing he does is snatch up a hockey mask that\u2019s an exact replica<\/em> of the one that he\u2019s worn for years. It even has a crack in it from where Chris planted her axe in Part 3.<\/em> Why would such a thing even exist? This goes back to my theory that the \u201cForest Green\u201d name was kiboshed when the township realized that the Crystal Lake Murders had marquee value. Jason Voorhees is a moneymaker and Crystal Lake has become a legit, merchandised, tourist attraction. When Jason masks up this time, he doesn\u2019t even know that he\u2019s become a brand. (This merchandising theme is even touched on in the next sequel.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Mask on, weapon up.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Things get sloppy right away, when a close-up of undead Jason\u2019s hand reveals very normal-looking, non<\/em>-zombified fingers sticking out of his gloves. They get worse<\/em> when a flashback of young, drowning Jason shows a completely average, NON-mutated little boy with dark hair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We quickly meet our \u201cheroine\u201d Rennie Fartface \u2014 I might need to fact-check her surname \u2014 who is played by a cardboard standee with hair (Jensen Daggett, who I\u2019m sure is a lovely person). Rennie is bland, boring, and listless. She\u2019s the worst final girl in the series; a tube of toothpaste would have more presence. And Rennie has problems. She keeps having nonsensical visions of a very normal-looking young Jason (with a full head of hair), a half-mutated Jason (also with hair), and later, a bald and fully mutated Young Jason. By the time this movie was made, the original Friday the 13th<\/em> was a classic \u2014 familiar to anyone with a pop culture pulse. VHS existed. Photography<\/em> existed. Reference material was available. But they couldn\u2019t be arsed to even try<\/em> getting it right (or even getting things consistent from minute-to-minute in their own film). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Rennie has a “range” of emotions.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The guts of the plot is that the graduating class of Lakeview High is taking a cruise to New York City (a cruise that departs\u2026from a lake). Rennie is among them, but nobody really cares because she\u2019s a friendless celery stick. Rennie\u2019s asshole uncle is there, and he\u2019s very unpleasant; a true garbage human. Jason stows away, killing everyone he sees on his first and only vacation. But once again, the kills are edited down to nothing and the victims are immediately forgettable, so the whole trip is pretty dreary. When the ship is damaged, a handful of surviving dullards board a lifeboat to my hometown, and Jason \u2014 who apparently has finally learned how to swim \u2014 follows them all the way to NYC. Maybe they\u2019ll all get discount tickets to Cats<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The movie is an eternal<\/em> 1 hour and 40 minutes long. They reach Manhattan just past the 1 hour mark. And when they get there, it\u2019s Canada. Yep. Fucking Canada<\/em>. I used a stopwatch and the actual Manhattan footage (most of which was shot in Times Square) is about six minutes in length (one minute of which runs under the closing credits). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Which way to Starbucks?<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Manhattan is portrayed as a disgusting trash fire. It\u2019s practically post-apocalyptic, full of sleazy back alleys, abandoned buildings, rampant crime, and drug users. Five minutes after arriving in the Big Apple, Rennie is kidnapped and forcibly injected with heroin \u2014 just before Jason interrupts her attempted rape. And everyone acts like civilization is 100 miles away instead of, say, a two-minute walk to literally ANY avenue full of people, police officers, and civilized society. Honestly, this depiction of New York is offensive to me, and I don\u2019t offend easily. Anyway, rather than taking in the sights, Jason stalks the remaining tourists relentlessly, and every death is a gift because these are the worst characters in the franchise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The cast upon seeing the final cut.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Then a big reveal comes via flashback, when we learn that years earlier, Uncle Asshole pushed Little Rennie into Crystal Lake \u2014 after frightening her with the legend of Jason. As she struggled to stay afloat, a young, properly mutated<\/em> Jason tried to drag her into the depths. This, however, is impossible. Jason drowned in 1957. When Rennie was a child, he was well into adulthood, if not zombie-hood. Whatever Rennie saw can\u2019t have been real, so let\u2019s chalk it up to the Crystal Lake spooks and\/or one of Rennie\u2019s weird Jason-visions, which she repeatedly has for no reason. Or maybe Rennie was already shooting up heroin when she was 10.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, with Jason running amok, our two surviving idiots, Rennie and the cute-but-vapid Sean (soap actor Scott Reeves), eventually flee to the sewers, where a random worker informs them that the Manhattan sewer tunnels flood with toxic waste(?!?), every night (?!?) at midnight (?!?). There are also barrels of this toxic waste laying about for easy access. Sure enough, Jason comes stomping along, the sewer floods, and a now-maskless (long story), panicked Jason cries out in a CHILD\u2019S voice \u201cMommy! Don\u2019t let me drown!\u201d before vomiting up a flood of\u2026lake water. I want to punch this lazy, stupid movie in the face. Literally nothing makes sense \u2014 and they\u2019re not done yet!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Pam’s little angel.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The toxic waste \u2014 for reasons absolutely unknown \u2014 turns Jason into a very normal, shivering, human boy, naked but for a pair or swim trunks (or maybe boxer shorts). This is probably an illusion. Maybe<\/em>. But then Rennie and Sean seem to react to the sight of him, so who knows. Anyway, even if he IS a human boy, they leave him for dead. They have no fucks to give about some dirty, shivering sewer-child. Let the Ninja Turtles deal with him.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the two dolts walk outside and cheerfully joke about visiting the Statue of Liberty \u2014 which is what you do when your friends and family members have just been murdered, when you just left a dying child in a toxic sewer, and when you\u2019ve been shot up with a dirty heroin needle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For what it\u2019s worth, I don\u2019t think Jason was literally transformed into a child. With the movie firmly establishing that Rennie has visions of Jason \u2014 visions which, from scene to scene, are incongruous and inconsistent \u2014 it\u2019s easy to dismiss that ending. Jason was probably swept up in the toxic waste, Rennie had another off-kilter hallucination, and we move on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Choose Your Own Jason”<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If it helps, much like Part V<\/em>, you can skip this one and it doesn\u2019t impact a thing. In fact, Jason is inexplicably back at Crystal Lake when the next movie starts. Maybe he took a cab back from the city. They didn\u2019t have Uber back then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Favorite moment: Ejecting the disc from my Blu-ray player. Okay, okay. The boxing kill is funny, at least \u2014 and it happens on-camera, so they get credit for that. And Kane Hodder makes every Jason scene work; his name should go above the title of every Friday in which he appears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next time: The franchise shifts from Paramount to New Line and things really<\/em> get crazy. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Frank Pittarese The One with Telekinetic Tina They killed Jason. They brought him back as a murder-zombie. Friday the 13th fans have seen it all, right? NOPE! This time, the high concept is \u201cJason vs. Carrie.\u201d In an endless quest to keep the series fresh, this movie introduces a new nemesis for Jason \u2014 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-80s","category-friday-the-13th"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7167"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7167\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/matt.doppiavvu.it\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}